Society seems to teach us to go to school to get good grades so that we can go to a good college and get a good job. Now we can make money to become independent humans, buy our own things, pay our bills, and set money aside in a 401k! And then we go to sleep and wake up and go to work, over and over, so the money keeps coming. We might start a family, buy a house, and go on vacations. And we have to keep going to work to keep the money flowing. And keep going. And keep going. What is the end game?
One day we will hit an age where we think to ourselves how nice it would be to stop having to go to work every day. We look at our 401ks we realize that we will only be able to take out so much each month so it won't run out. Now we live out the rest of our days on a very limited income from the small amount we set aside after decades of hard work. This is what society pushes us into. There are no moments up until this point of serious intervention.
We ADHDers often struggle even to do this basic outline of life, which, as I'm sure you're getting the hint, is less than ideal. We've collected consumer debt, we are paycheck to paycheck, we have tens of thousands in student loan debt, our relationships are struggling, and we feel unstable, ashamed, and embarrassed. And that is understandable. ADHD is a real pain in the butt, especially in the areas where it exposes our weaknesses.
So do we actually become independent humans after graduating college and getting that job and that paycheck? I would argue the answer is no. Certainly not financially independent. True independence means you are never cornered into a particular choice because you need it to maintain the standard of living you are accustomed to.
Money does not have to lead us to this life of dependence and scarcity. We were just taught wrong. We weren't taught how money really works. No class in high school shows us how to become wealthy and financially free. The secret everyone knows intuitively but can't seem to make work in practice is that money is a form of power. It doesn't and shouldn't have a negative connotation. Power is control and freedom of choice. And that is something all humans deserve. But we don't stand a chance to be able to harness that power and get what we deserve if we don't understand how to make it power. Instead, we let it power us. And so what happens is we all just end up working our entire lives for money to keep us alive.
The saying you are what you eat is true. Right? Remember that documentary Supersize Me? Well, you also are what you read, learn, and study. If the next ten audiobooks you listen to are Rich Dad Poor Dad, Why the Stock Market Goes Up by Brian Feroldi, Atomic Habits by James Clear, Money Mammoth by Brad Klontz, The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Automatic Millionaire by David Bach, Broke Millenial by Erin Lowry, and Clever Girl Finance by Bola Sokunbi, then I guarantee you that you you will have a radically changed perspective on money and new behaviors would follow.
The biggest difference between the wealthy and the poor is that the wealthy earn money to buy assets that will earn them more money without having to work tirelessly, and the poor work tirelessly for money and then spend it all, simply keeping them tied to the work.
The below graphic I created shows the spending patterns of the wealthy versus the poor. The green represents the wealthy, and the red represents the poor. For the purposes of this article, poor more or less means living paycheck to paycheck. If you are paycheck to paycheck, it is useful to understand that you are one bad thing away from being poor in the worst sense. Sometimes the discomfort from this realization can inspire change.
For both, we start at the top left with salary. The wealthy, represented by the green in the image, use their income to immediately begin buying assets before spending the leftover money on discretionary stuff. They will let the leftover money they have dictate what level of lifestyle they can afford. They will continue to buy assets with their earnings, and those assets, such as stocks and investment properties, work for them and provide more income. They keep focusing on building assets, and eventually, the income their assets generate can pay for everything, and working is no longer needed. It is now an option.
On the other hand, the poor, middle class, and, unfortunately, many ADHDers out there completely skip the step of buying assets. Instead, we use our earned income to assume liabilities like credit card debt, car loans, and personal loans. These liabilities create more expenses. So instead of immediately buying assets which creates more income, we create more expenses. And then we feel pinched, which makes us work harder, get promotions, and stay stuck in the rat race. Or, we take on more liabilities to temporarily solve the problem. But ultimately, it all unravels when we take that route.
And so much of this does come down to education. Many families have been stuck in this earn-and-spend money management pattern for generations. So if you find this true for you, don't take it personally, and don't blame yourself. You were never armed with the knowledge. Your ancestors did not help you out, and neither has society. You have to ask yourself, why hasn't personal finance been added to curriculums? Is it that hard? Perhaps it is because the system needs us to stay dependent. Food for thought.
Of course, executing the way the wealthy do is different. First, for us ADHDers, if we struggle with our impulsivity expressing itself in reckless spending, we must get a handle on that. I fully acknowledge the reality that exists for an ADHDer where you have the practical knowledge and the desire, but you are stuck in habitual ADHD-fueled patterns that keep getting in your way every time you start to make progress.
You'll read books that say, likely some on the list I gave you, that this comes down to laziness, lack of motivation, or lack of desire. Now, you and I know differently. The cards an ADHDer is dealt are not stocked in our favor in this area.
But it is still no excuse! We can overcome our spending problems. We can break the patterns we are in. It takes serious, concerted, and intentional effort. It takes a written plan and perseverance. It takes knowing yourself and the structure and accountability you need to make progress that is not self-sabotaged away.
But first, you have to really want something deep in your bones. There is a difference between "having the desire" and feeling the fire in your belly and the almost supernatural voice in your head that says, "enough is enough. I am ready, confident, and determined to change the course of my life permanently." The latter is what you need to cultivate.
You also have to be a little greedy and be okay with that. Just replace greed with desire. You will not hurt anybody by wanting more security, stability, and freedom in your life. Once you have taken care of yourself, your mind will be free to care for others in a way you never will if you cannot see the path to escaping the rat race.
Once you have enough desire and motivation to make changes and you've armed yourself with knowledge, you will be ready to change your life.
Another thing the wealthy do is hire professionals. If you want to radically transform your financial future, improve your mindset, and have your hand held in the best way possible step by step to true personal wealth, I am always available for a discovery call.